Comments for Domestic Violence Memorial (UK)

Comment on About the DV Memorial by monarchjourney

monarchjourney — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:19:44 +0000

I am the founder of the International Domestic Violence Memorial Project. We are creating a monument for victims of domestic abuse and are seeking names, stories, and family members who wish to share their experiences with domestic violence.

As part of the project we are creating a Giant Lantern of Hope which will encompass 4 mural-mosaics by over 240 different artists across the globe. If you or someone you know is an artist and would like to participate in the project, please feel free to contact me directly at dvsupport [at] live.com. When the project is complete it will go on tour nationally to raise awareness about domestic abuse and so that various family members can have opportunity to see the artwork that was dedicated to each victim.

To the founders of this site, please keep up the good work. I was not able to find your direct contact information, so I posted here. I hope this is ok. Please let me know if you would like to participate in our design Charrette. We are looking for innovative ideas for the creation of the lantern itself.

Nasrin “Ruby” Zoghbia
http://www.dvmemorial.com

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life’s about creating yourself.”
- George Bernard Shaw

Comment on Vicky Horgan & Emma Walton by suzih58

suzih58 — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 19:05:51 +0000

I am the wife of Sean Horgan who’s brother Stuart Horgan.. comitted the horrendous “bbq killings”. I have sat back and read the various replies on this subject.. I met Sean quite soon after the events, so I suppose I really shouldnt comment on them..I can only relate the effects after the events. Once married into the Horgan family I was told by an immediate family member -and I quote-”welcome to the most dis-functional family on the planet”..wow how true that is.My husband is a “normal hardworking” guy..likes a drink to say the least..but not a problem. He is not violent in any way shape or form, and has not been in in the last 4 and a half years. He constantly seeks his mothers love and approval..why I dont know. His sisters continuosly accuse him of sexual abuse….but never carry it through..he has even gone to the police himself to clear his name..his sisters retract their accusations. All Sean wants to do is get on with his life..he has dealt with the terrible things Stuart did..and has moved on. Although he has no dealings with his siblings…that suits him fine. He is sad at the loss of his father quite recently..although he did build bridges with his dad only a matter of 3 weeks before his father died. Now to the crux of your reply.. “darlingmaid”..how the hell you can say you “blame Sean for that tragic day”.. are you dillusional..or maybe drung addled at all? How the hell can you say such a stupid thing? I suggest you look closer to home for any failings in the friendship with Stuart. The truth will out, you naive gullible little fools… and as for the wave that will hit the calm.. I suggest you get a wet suit and surf board. I’m sure if you would like to continue this debate you will contact me, Suzi Horgan at any time. We all get older, wiser..and even mellow with time..why won’t you let Sean do this? If he truly is such a bad person.. confront him, deal with it and move on..am sure you will know how to do this Jayne.

Comment on Vicky Horgan & Emma Walton by seanieboy06

seanieboy06 — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 18:14:13 +0000

Well now that you mention it..Sean Brian Horgan has plenty to say for himself..just not got enough space on this site.Firstly how the hell can Stuart have been looking for me I lived in Pontefract at the time..and then ..why the hell would he be looking for me? You are more stupid than I thought. In the end Stu did’nt believe your allegations of abuse….neither did the police..why not take me to court..why not press charges..even your own mother doesnt believe you..even now! Why choose to argue on a public website..why not do it face to face..or at least by letter or telephone..You know why…its just your stupid little games.. you know I have done nothing wrong.. i f I have..BRING IT ON.. make waves in calm waters ..as you would say. As for my dad hating me..why then would he be drinking with me two weeks before he died?You stated in your reply that I am a “nonce” I really do hope you can provide evidence of this.. I am visiting North Yorks police first thing tomorrow morning.. lets get this sorted once and for all..no point in dragging it on any longer.for all our sakes. my e-mail address …if you would like to continue this argument in person is..suziandsean@hotmail.co.uk..let the games begin

Comment on Vicky Horgan & Emma Walton by darlingmaid

darlingmaid — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:30:52 +0000

I apologise for what I said about your old man detesting Stuart, I got that totaly wrong. It was you he detested for what you did. Dont deny it because I was there when it all came out about you, I remember you kept on phoning Stuart and he would just ignore your calls and when he did finaly answer he called you a nonce.
(I remember that day as if it was yesterday)
Whats the matter with you, were you jealous of how close Stuart and Jayne were. You talk crap about saying how they wernt close. They had a lovely proper brother and sister realastionship. How sibblings were supose to act, but you wouldnt know that would you because you treated your sibblings in a different way.
You looked up to Stuart like a stupid little puppy dog. You thought because he could treat woman the way he did you could do the same. You was/are nothing but a joke.
That awful day we all lost Vicky is your fault because he was really coming for you and because he couldnt find you and he wanted to see Vicky that day and she said no, just topped him over the egde. If he had got you first, then my beautiful friend would still be here with her children today.
I blame you for that tragic day.
Jayne told the truth in that book but had to change somethings for legal reasons.
Why dont you tell the truth for once and tell people what your really like. If you have nothing to hide and your man enough, lets hear what the Great Sean Brian Horgan and really got to say for him self.

Comment on Rachel & Lillian Entwistle by stormy

stormy — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:47:55 +0000

Excellent, I wish you luck with the fund & awareness raising.

Comment on Rachel & Lillian Entwistle by dfranklin80

dfranklin80 — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:52:45 +0000

We have started an annual fundraiser in the name of Rachel and Lilly to raise awareness and help fight domestic violence. 2009 being our first year, it is just the South Shore of Massachusetts. But we hope to expand next year to other areas and eventually into the UK.

See the web-site html:\\www.Run-for-the-Roses.com

Comment on Vicky Horgan & Emma Walton by smallze12

smallze12 — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 12:02:03 +0000

Firstly someone of your caliber and character should not pass judgement on anybody, thats if you really were smart enough to put a paragraph of rubbish together. I would just be hugely grateful if i were you, that only a select few people know that actually you are the worst kind of scum and remember its never too late to change your life or someone elses. I’m the first to say i cannot condone nor excuse what happened that day, it was wrong and most difinately unjust, but don’t use it to score brownie points.
You were and still are detested very much maybe you should bare that in mind before speaking on other peoples behalf and can you honestly speak for grandad (did he like you?, or even talk to you?)
your bitterness is quite ironic considering you and uncle stuart had alot of similarities when it came to violent behaviour. how is ur wife?
I must admit i wasn’t shocked that in your opinion your childhood was normal because you seem to think what YOU’VE done and who YOU are is normal.
My mother who for the record 110% was not detested by her brother, has ensured that we have had a decent and normal upbringing and is more than capable and qualified to differenciate between normal and abnoramal relationships in families due to years of experience and training working with victims of domestic violence, can you say the same?. Based on that, basic common sense and decency it’s obvious your childhood was far from normal.
I don’t like having to even write to you so make it easy on yourself because if you continue to try and make ripples in water where there’s calm your gonna catch a tide!!

Comment on Vicky Horgan & Emma Walton by stormy

stormy — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 15:15:36 +0000

Although I have not read Ms Sterne’s book, I would recommend that both of you read Lundy Bancroft’s Why does he do that?

(Stuart) Horgan’s attitudes are rooted in society and possibly upbringing (frequently passed from father to son). These are fundamentally feminist issues, and for someone such as myself, it is clear why Horgan did what he did, and to whom.

He shot his ex-wife Vicky Horgan due to revenge for ‘daring’ to leave him (this indicates he considered his ex-wife less than an equal person, and more of an extension of himself or less than himself). He shot Vicky’s sister and mother because they were her support network (and he perceived that they had plotted her against him), which was another act of revenge on Horgan’s part. The second act (and indeed the first) shows a clear attitude towards women that ‘dare’ defy the ‘authority’ of man, and should be punished or dealt with. The age gap between Horgan and Vicky is not unnoticed and is frequently an indicator of authoritarian husbands.

Sean and Jayne, I recommend that you both do a lot of reading and research from reputable sources, and get yourselves involved in working to raise awareness of domestic violence and its causes, just as Frank Mullane, brother of Julia Pemberton has done.

Comment on Vicky Horgan & Emma Walton by seanieboy06

seanieboy06 — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 17:28:43 +0000

Regarding the comments about my brother Stuart Horgan. What Stuart did was a dispicable act, and unforgiveable- and I for one wouldnt offer any sympathy towards him. We were brought up in a “normal loving family”. How anyone can think that my sisters book(jayne sterne) explains why stuart turned out the way he did is beyond me. The book is a total fabrication of our upbringing. We certainly didnt live in “war torn northeren ireland, with bombs going off in our street”. Nothing could have prepared any of us for what Stu did. As someone has already mentioned, my dad detested Stuart.. I dont think he did detest him.. I think he was more frightened of what Stuart had become-well Stuart detested Jayne!! He certainly never confided such things to her as mentioned in her book. The harsh reality of this situation is that it tore us apart as a family. The loving relationship between them (Jayne and Stu) simply did not exist. Sad how even out of such horrific circumstances someone can capitalise out of the events. Some things are best left unsaid… the book by Jayne Sterne was one of them. I am Sean Brian Horgan..the eldest of four Horgan children, and very proud of my name. I loved Stu as my brother, but my heart goes out to Vicky’s family.. in fact to everyone affected by this terrible tragedy.It will haunt us for the rest of our lives- ALL of us!

Comment on Vicky Horgan & Emma Walton by tinyjayne

tinyjayne — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:16:57 +0000

I Wasn’t going to leave a comment, but felt perhaps I should as Im the sister of Stuart Horgan.
Regards the 3rd comment, on waking up to what Stuart done, I woke up a long time before Stuart committed this crime. Vicky was so very special to me and although I wasn’t close to Emma be rest assured what my brother did was despicable, cruel and selfish.
I myself was telling Vicky to walk away from the relationship.
Yes i have wrote a book, and it does not glorify Stuart’s actions at all and never would, any person that feels they have a right to harm another person is wrong, to take a persons life, well common sense tells you its wicked beyond a normal persons understanding.
The question you will most likely ask is what are my feelings on him, well, I will never understand how anyone can do what he did, i don’t think anyone could, do I still love him yes I do, my families loss is huge as I miss Vicky every day, as well as Stuart. I think if only i could of done something to stop what happened, the what ifs will most likely be with me for the rest of my days. I’m sorry that he hurt so many people, and the suffering he has caused to Vicky and Emma’s family. Im sorry to my children for all they have gone through since.
My advice to anyone going through domestic violence is, get out make yourself safe, love holds no conditions and it doesn’t seek to destroy.
My story is based on our childhood and also my relationship with both Vicky and Stuart, it gives no reasons to justify his actions, because there are none. As for my father yes he did sadly pass December 2008 and was a broken man after Stuart’s crime and he was never the same again.
I hope my story helps those going through violence to see you cant help those that wont help themselves, Vicky was the sweetest person you could ever wish to meet, and there is no doubting they loved one another, but there relationship was volatile and in my opinion dangerous, and that became reality on the 6.6.04. Although Stuart took his life, the pain for all those close to Vicky & Emma and also Stuart remains with us.
Please anyone going through Domestic violence, get out and get help, if your thinking awww he would never hurt me like that, Vicky thought the same no matter how much we told her different, now we will no longer have her radiant smile and her cheering laughter and warm presence around us………..
Jayne Sterne